i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
