it was like eating out sand paper
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
