You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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