On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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