Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I wear drunk well.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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