I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you have to choose: penises or morals?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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