Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
