you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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