You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
