Can i not drive my cunt home
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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