dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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