hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Randomize
