Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
