There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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