I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
