I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
