i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
