Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize