Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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