Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
