i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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