Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
