I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
