just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
