i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The air was thick with penises
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
