In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
zippers are such a cool invention
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
