i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
