how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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