it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
