As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
