I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
