I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
