Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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