We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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