Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
