But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
