What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
