Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
