you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
