They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
