I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
