The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
