so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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