Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I think i got beer on your cat.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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