i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Randomize
