Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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