I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
