seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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