his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
