mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
