I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
