I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
