I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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