Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
We had to coat check the pizza.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
